Seeing Your Child Through a New Lens

A new paradigm for approaching behavior

Your child’s behavior is driving you crazy!

Rewards don’t work. Reasoning doesn’t work. Yelling doesn’t work. Now what?

Until recently behavior was only seen as an act of the will - something a child chooses to do. But recent discoveries in neuroscience show that behavior stems from responses way below the conscious level in the central nervous system. The drive to avoid threat and remain safe is what drives behavior.

A person’s brain is constantly checking (4 times/second) to know if their body is safe. Without the feeling of safety, a person is unable to connect socially and is unable to engage the part of the brain that can make rational decisions.

This “felt safety” is about perceived safety not literal safety. “Felt safety” is a subjective experience (unique to an individual) that is a result of a person’s internal experiences, relationships (caregiver and others) and their environment. Deb Dana, author of Rhythm and Regulation, regards its this way: responses are a result of everything inside, outside and in between.

(Throughout this blog I will be referring to the behavior of a child, but this information is true for all humans. Robyn Gobbel often refers to this approach as being human-informed.)

What this means is that more often than not, a child will respond to a situation in a way that is familiar to their body in order to protect themselves. To put it another way, your child is doing the best that they can, in the moment, with the skills that they have, to keep themselves safe.

Does this mean it is the best way to respond? NO! Does it mean it is the most appropriate way to respond? NO! And because most responses happen below a conscious level, they are not fully aware of why they are doing what they are doing.

Our job as caregivers is to show up for them and through connection, help them feel safe in their bodies and learn how to engage their thinking brain to manage their responses. To do that we need to see what is going on below the surface.

I can hear you saying, “Wait, wait, wait! My child is totally safe. They have a family, they go to school, they have three meals a day and a roof over their head. What is this about safety?”

I am glad you asked! This shift in perspective about behavior is going to take some time to process. Any shift in thinking takes adjustment. For me, it was an “Aha!” moment that helped me understand my own neuro-diverse child. I hope you will hang in there and give it a chance. It can guide you in a new understanding of your child, a child in your sphere of influence or perhaps, yourself.

I have taken many classes and seminars on this approach and there is a lot to learn but I will try to break it down into its basic elements.

First, a few guiding principles to understanding this approach to behavior:

Principle # 1: The Autonomic Nervous System protects the body through management of Energy and arousal levels

The autonomic nervous system is the system in the body that controls automatic body functions (heart rate, breathing, blood pressure, digestion, etc.), survival responses and social engagement. This system of sensory input and motor output controls all of these essential functions without us having to think about them. The job of the autonomic nervous system is to keep the body safe through control of energy and arousal levels.

Three pathways of the autonomic nervous system operate sequentially to respond to situations in the environment. The body constantly moves through these pathways throughout the day. A ventral vagal pathway is ready for connection and social engagement, feels safe and is emotionally regulated and can access higher thinking skills.

If a threat is perceived, the sympathetic pathway is activated and readies the body for action. In this stressed state, the thinking brain goes “offline” and a response look like a meltdown, a tantrum or even excessive silliness.

If completely overwhelmed, the body move to a dorsal vagal pathway. Here, withdrawal and shut down are the key components. The body slows down, eyes gaze downward, shoulders slump in an effort to conserve energy. Sometimes overlooked as quiet compliance, this state can be missed as a cry for help.

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Principle #2: A child learns to regulate their own emotional arousal levels through co-regulation.

The next step in understanding emotional responses starts with a discussion about how a child learns to regulate their own systems as they mature. Regulation, as defined by Dr. Dan Siegel, is keeping the accelerator and brakes of arousal in balance. When a child is born they are completely dependent on an adult to help them modulate their arousal. They learn to regulate their own system through connection with a regulated caregiver. This co-regulation is what lays the foundation for self-regulation.

Imagine a baby that is hungry (uncomfortable and unsafe) and starts to cry. A caregiver comes (with its own system in a mobilization state) and picks up the baby and begins to rock and speaks to the baby in a calming fashion. The adult is using their regulated nervous system to regulate the baby’s nervous system. Over time the baby begins to learn how to regulate their own bodies.

It is important to note that if a child does not experience the presence of a regulated adult during early development, it delays its ability to self-regulate. This is why children who experience disrupted relationships early in life often struggle with social-emotional behavior. In blogs to come I will address further implications of trauma on a child.

Principal # 3 Connection is a biological Imperative

As humans, we are always seeking connection. It is how we are wired in our brains. A child needs connection to regulate their physiological being. It is in the presence of a connected caregiver that a child can grow and develop. When a child is operating in their window of tolerance (tolerating stress without freaking out), they are available for and desire connection. One of the challenges of a child who has experienced toxic stress or has sensory processing challenges is that the very connection they need is perceived as threatening. This is exhausting for them and can lead to challenging behaviors.

This is where the importance of being a regulated caregiver who can come alongside a child and BE the embodiment of regulation for them. They can ask in the moment:

Is this child regulated?

Is this child connected to me or to themselves?

Is this child feeling safe?

Here is where we really can dig deeper into behavior. We can look below the surface when a child is acting out. We can first determine if their physiological needs are being met. Are they hungry? Are they thirsty? Are they getting enough sleep?

We can prioritize being regulated ourselves in the moment so the child can experience co-regulation. Am I hungry? Am I getting enough sleep? Do I have enough margin? Check out my previous blogs on rest to learn more.

Consider your child’s lived experience. Are they over or under reactive to certain senses? If so, this could be impacting their ability to regulate and experience “felt safety.” (More on this to come!) Seek out an occupational therapist if you suspect your child struggles with this.

Stay tuned to my blog and my Instagram (@goskippingstone) for some examples of seeing what factors can lie beneath behaviors.

I hope that you are starting to see behavior in a new way. It takes time and practice to learn to respond to our children’s behavior with their nervous system in mind. It is not about being a perfect parent but it is about being on a journey of connection and helping your family move towards success in your everyday life.

Taking School Outdoors

Nature Provides Long Lasting Benefits For Students

When you see the fruit of what you truly believe in become a reality, it is a beautiful thing. As a nature-based occupational therapist, the value of getting kids outside has been a core principle of my work with children. Last year I was lucky enough to work at a school that not only saw getting children outside as a way to lessen the sting of Covid-19 protocols but further embraced their value of connecting kids with the wonder of nature as a crucial part of the education process. During the upcoming school year I have the privilege of serving as the Outdoor Education Coordinator at Cambridge School in Baltimore to continue to grow the integration of curriculum and the outdoors.

How you can do this? And why should you do this at your school if you are a teacher? or advocate for it at your child’s school as a parent? These are some of the things I addressing here and will continue to do in the months to come.

What Does it Mean to combine Nature and Education?

Combining nature and education can be a bit confusing. While it brings to mind the study of the environment and ecology, it encompasses so much more than simply learning ABOUT nature. At its core, it is about building a RELATIONSHIP with nature and valuing the EXPERIENCE in nature which provides a backdrop for holistic learning. The skills acquired go far beyond academic achievement.

The marriage of education and nature can take on many meanings. While place-based learning that uses local landscapes to build a deeper understanding about culture, heritage and landscape is definitely a goal, sometimes using nature can be as simple as bringing your class out for a movement break or to read. We will discuss more specific ways to incorporate nature into the educational process in upcoming blogs.

Essential Reasons To Get Kids Outside At School

Here are some things that nature can provide in school setting:

• Fosters a Positive Relationship With Nature - It is impossible to grow in a relationship if you don’t spend time with something. It isn’t enough to know about something, one must interact with it. Imagine making a new friend by only compiling a list of facts about someone and seeing their picture. It may be a starting place but it does not create the connection necessary to grow and have a mutually beneficial relationship.

• Participation in Nature Fosters Stewardship - Studies find that kids who have spent time in nature as a child grow up to be good stewards of natural places. If we are going to enjoy nature for years to come, we need to raise caretakers of the environment. I want my grandchildren and their grandchildren to be able to enjoy green spaces rich with diverse species and healthy growth. That takes care and stewardship.

• Fosters Critical Thinking - When we embrace in inquiry-based approach to nature spaces, it promotes the ability of a child to think and learn on their own. They learn to evaluate and analyze what they see and experience in order to draw a conclusion. This differs from a classroom experience based on learning facts and memorizing. For instance, a child who sees a curious hole in a log may ask a teacher or guide,

“What is this?” Rather than giving an outright answer, the response can be, “Hmm, What do you think it might be?” This begins the dialogue. Children embrace the role of scientists as they test their own theories about what might happen. Principles of physics are explored before a child can put terms or labels to them.

• Reduces Anxiety - For many students the classroom environment is intimidating and full of stressors including academic pressures, social expectations and sensory distractions. When taking the classroom experience outside, it removes walls and some of the pressures that go along with it. Children can be free to experience learning in a new way. When the emphasis is on discovery and not on meeting specific academic goals, children can learn at a pace that is right for them. In my blog on seeing behavior through a new lens, we learn that a child’s inner sense of safety is crucial in setting the stage for reasoning and taking in new information.

• Builds Social Skills - As children are allowed to explore and engage with natural settings they practice using their social skills. By navigating interactions with peers, they experiment with social behavior. They learn what works and what doesn’t. Adults and teachers can act as supportive observers rather than micromanagers. Adults can provide the framework for managing disputes giving children a chance to experiment and grow.

• Promotes a Sense of Wonder - Learning to pause and reflect on the wonders of nature is a gift that will last a lifetime. Whether watching a bee pollinate a flower, listening to birdcalls, finding shapes in the clouds, marveling at the resurgence of spring, the simple act of noticing, pausing and being amazed is a source of joy even amidst troubling times.

• Enhances Learning - Research shows that multi-sensory experiences enhance learning and increase the likelihood of retention. Picture observing the changes in a marked area on the schoolgrounds versus reading about ecology. Or Participating in an archaeology dig, as opposed to watching a YouTube video. For the younger child learning the alphabet can be experienced on the playground instead of on a chalkboard or workbook.

• Teaches Flexibility and Resilience - Being flexible is an important quality for anyone to have. Just ask anyone who has lived through 2020-21! Nature provides a dynamic environment in which to learn and play that gives growing bodies rich opportunities to adapt. Both minds and bodies are challenged as they navigate uneven terrain, changes in weather, and unpredictable environmental changes i.e. an onslaught of 17-year cicadas on the playground! Rain today? No problem! We just put on our boots and raincoats. As children adapt to changes and stressors and find success, they grow in resilience at school and beyond.

• Enhances Spiritual Connection- This isn’t always talked about but I feel it is very important. Being outdoors offers a tremendous opportunity for individuals to find meaning and purpose. In occupational therapy, spirituality is defined as “the way individuals seek and express meaning and purpose and the way they experience their connectedness to the moment, to self, to others, to nature, and to the significant or sacred.”

The school where I work is a faith-based, Christian school and values nature as a way of seeing and connecting with God. But however you express your spirituality, nature provides a way to find meaning and to participate in something bigger than ourselves. Children can find value and purpose as they are immersed in the natural world.

• Increased Mental Health -We have already mentioned reduced anxiety but the benefits of spending time outside are steeped in research. Children who participate in outdoor experiences feel calmer and less stressed, have decreased negative emotions and have increased feelings of competence and resilience. If children can learn about the connection of nature to their own positive emotions and mental health, they can carry that with them for a lifetime.

While this list is not exhaustive, hopefully it is enough for you to see the value of getting children outside at school. While some may argue that outdoor time is taking away from time to focus on academics, many would argue that the benefits children gain from their time outside far outweigh time at a desk memorizing facts and completing worksheets.

Practical Ways To Help Children Regulate Their Nervous System

Brain-Based Activities To Support Regulation

Want to help the children in your sphere of influence manage their bodies so they can minimize dysregulation, maintain engagement and maximize their ability to function well where they are?

If your answer is yes, you have come to the right place.

Dysregulated brains and bodies, not only appear to be disruptive - whether you are shopping, at a birthday party or in the classroom - but dysregulation is a symptom of a brain that has switched off its ability to connect, reflect, think, and learn.

Picture: children in tears, yelling, disproportionate emotional responses, running away, or even total shutdown. I know you have been there before. I sure have!

If you want some background information, read on. If you want activities NOW click the button below.

In my recent blog on seeing behavior with a new lens (from a neurological point of view instead of a behavioral standpoint), I stated:

“Our job as caregivers is to show up for children and through connection, help them feel safe in their bodies and learn how to engage their thinking brain to manage their responses.”

Whether your are new to this behavioral paradigm or just need a little refresher, the brain develops and works in a hierarchical fashion. At the most basic level the brainstem takes in sensory information, from inside and outside the body. The brain then sorts and processes it to form a response.

This chart summarizes the state-dependent brain model by Dr. Bruce Perry. It reflects the hierarchy of the brain and the areas of control in the sequence of engagement.

The ability to reason and reflect is a much higher level function than perceiving the environment. Reasoning takes place in the cortex - the grey matter you typically think of when you picture a brain.

According to Dan Siegel, regulation is the ability to keep the accelerator and the brakes of arousal in balance. Much of this happens at a subconscious level. The ability to override the bodies “gut response” with thoughts and strategies is something that is developed over time, with help from engaged caregivers. It is important to mention that when a child or adult has experienced trauma or prolonged responses to stress, their ability to regulate their bodies can be greatly impaired.

The sequence of engagement for the brain is: Regulate—>Relate—>Reason

When a child is in the middle of a meltdown, it is NOT the time to talk them through it or have a discussion. Their brains are not able to process verbal information. Remember, before they can think (REASON) they must feel safe in their bodies (REGULATE) and connected to their caregiver (REASON).

What does it look and feel like to be regulated? I’m glad you asked. When a child is regulated and ready for engagement, they are alert, able to make eye contact, are in control of their movement, can think, be curious, have responsive tone in their voice and can express all emotions. This is the sweet spot for connection.

Thanks to the polyvagal theory, we have come to understand that regulation and level of arousal are intimately related. From the chart at the left, you can see that as the level of arousal increases, the nervous system begins to go into fight/flight (where the thinking brain shuts down) and if extremely overwhelmed or fearful the brain goes into freeze mode (also known as shutdown or dissociation).

Without getting into too much detail, a child begins to make important associations in the mind-body connection while in the womb. Ideally, their physiological needs are met. They are surrounded by warm liquid pressing on their body. They are hearing and sensing the vibrations of their mother’s heartbeat. Ba-bump - Ba-bump - Ba-bump. This sets the stage for regulation and co-regulation throughout life.

Activities that reflect the rhythmic, repetitive, relational and rewarding nature of this positive interplay are going to foster regulation of the body. According to Bruce Perry, rhythm is one of the most powerful tools we have to help with regulation. He states, “All life is rhythmic. The rhythms of the natural world are embedded in our biological systems. “In addition, activities that help the brain organize incoming sensory information by activating the foundational proprioceptive and vestibular senses are also beneficial.

“All life is rhythmic. The rhythms of the natural world are embedded in our biological systems. ”

— Bruce Perry

Here is where we can get practical. Finally! I hear you say. There are some basic principles that can help a child regain balance in their systems. If done regularly, these types of activities can help train the brain to regulate the body more easily. They can also be done in the moment to help a child’s body feel regulated.

Some activity ideas for regulation and connection:

• Music - take advantage of the rhythm to either increase or decrease the level of arousal.

  • Call a dance party for the family or the class. Create motions for a special song and make it part of the routine.

  • Or if you want to calm things down cue up a classical playlist.

  • Coming together with rhythm and beats is a great way to join together and prepare for social engagement. Create a drum circle with a leader creating a beat that all need to copy. Over time, the leader can change the pattern and people can listen closely to mimic. Boom whackers or rhythm sticks are great for this.

• Movement - Moving the body is great for regulation. Think walking or yoga or jogging. Movement breaks are a must in the classroom to keep students engaged and regulated.

  • If a child is struggling, take a walk with them - even better - take a walk outside. Just walk and be in the moment. This is not the time to engage unless you sense that the child is ready.

  • If there is a child who has difficulty staying regulated, have them do some walking errands. At school have them take something to the office - even better - have a crate of books or other heavy items that can be carried or “delivered.” Doing heavy work gives vital input to joints and tendons. At home, have them get something from upstairs.

  • Yoga poses. Try these cards to create fun and engaging ways to explore yoga poses. Yoga is great to help kids get in tune with their bodies, increase balance and modulate arousal levels.

  • Balloon volleyball - an oldie but a goodie! One child can play keep it up or bring in more kids for a team effort. Don’t let it touch the ground!

  • Zoom ball - a favorite with occupational therapists because it requires using both sides of the body at the same time. This rhythmic game is a fun toy to have at home or on the playground.

  • Rocking Chair - Having a rocking chair available at home or in the classroom is a simple way to get the rhythmic movement that many dysregulated kids crave. You many notice that some kids naturally rock themselves when distressed

• Breathing Activities - Blowing is a very effective way to organize the brain. Not only is breathing the only way that we can purposely control the autonomic nervous system, breathing uses proprioception to organize the brain.

  • Blowing bubbles - simply blowing bubbles will do the trick. These are my favorite bubbles to use. To increase connection, take turns blowing bubbles and have your child try to pop them with their index finger.

  • Bubble volcano - all you need is a bowl of water, a splash of dish soap and a straw. Have the child see how high they can make the bubble volcano. You might want to do this outside or on a towel!

  • Breathing exercises - box breathing or rainbow breath are simple techniques that are kid friendly. Try starting the class everyday with one of these or just begin with 3 deep breaths to kick off the day.

• Tactile Play- doing repetitive activities with the hands is very soothing for some children and adults.

  • Putty - create your own cloud dough (I like this recipe) or purchase some such as this to provide an opportunity for tactile input and repetitive, rhythmic movement.

  • Water beads - These are a hit with all ages. My teen daughter loves these! There is something very calming about running fingers through these smooth, cool beads. To increase the task you can hide items in the bottom of the bin.

• Nature - This is one of my favorite ways to regulate and calm myself. You can’t beat the sound of a stream or the sound of wind in the trees to quiet the body.

  • Take a walk around the neighborhood or school.

  • Take a hike in the woods

  • Hammocking - the rocking and input to the body is very therapeutic and calming.

  • Go on a color scavenger hunt

  • Sit Spot - Have child/ren sit quietly in one spot, close their eyes and see how many sounds they can here. Can they identify more than one bird call? Or maybe they can just lay back and rest.

• Hobbies - In addition to the above listed categories, there are many hobbies that are rhythmic and repetitive in nature, making them an effective way to regulate the body and mind.

  • Knitting or crochet

  • cross stitch

  • Painting

  • Whittling

  • felting

  • woodworking

This is by no means an exhaustive list of activities. Use these as a staring place for activities that work in your home environment or classroom. Be sure to let me know what you try and how it works for you.

AND…..Remember the sequence:

If you found this article helpful, please let us know and share it with anyone who might benefit.

Building Strong Minds and Bodies: Understanding The Impact of Trauma On Children

What is Trauma and how does it affect day to day function?

What if your everyday looked and felt like this:

This blog is personal. Not only as an occupational therapist but as a parent. I am the adoptive parent of a child who experienced developmental trauma. Trauma impacted my child and therefore has impacted our family in a profound way. I am grateful that our experience has led me to a new path of understanding. Whether you are the tired parent who feels like everyday is a struggle or the teacher of a student who constantly acts out in the classroom or a friend of someone impacted by trauma, please read on. Understanding that relationship is the treatment may be the key you are looking for.

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It is common to hear the term “trauma informed care” these days. Thankfully, many schools, therapists, teachers and even law enforcement agencies are becoming aware of the need for change in how we interact with individuals who have experienced adverse circumstances in their life. It is easy to write off this discussion because you don’t think it applies to you.

But I want to challenge you to continue reading and lean in because the principles discussed in this article not only apply to those who have experienced adversity, but apply to any human who experiences stress on their system. And if you have been on earth during the Covid-19 pandemic - you have experienced Collective Trauma (any traumatic event experienced by a group of people such as war, social injustice or a pandemic). Some of us responded with resilience and some of us have been rattled. Read on to get more insight.

how do you define Trauma?

Needless to say, no child should have to experience circumstances defined as trauma. Unfortunately, it is all too common. While I wish I had a magic wand to end violence, systemic racism, economic disparities, neglect and abuse, I do not. But, we. as individuals and communities who serve children, do have the ability to positively influence children on a daily basis. As Dr. Bruce Perry, renowned child psychologist and expert on trauma, says, “People not programs, change people.”

“The way we experience the world in our minds, bodies and senses, past and present, profoundly impacts our lived experience.”

There is hardly an area of function that isn’t impacted when a child experiences trauma. Functional changes can be seen in emotional, behavioral, cognitive, social and physical aspects of daily life.

The way we experience the world in our minds, bodies, and senses, past and present, profoundly impacts our lived experience.

To put this in practical terms, the ability to function on a daily basis is the outcome of our mind and body connection - which is influenced by past and present sensory experiences, attachment relationships, physical abilities and exposure to stressors.

What is trauma?

When you hear the word “trauma,” what comes to mind?

Physical, emotional and sexual abuse. Domestic violence. Natural Disasters. These are a few of the things that immediately come to mind at the mention of the word “trauma.” These experiences , commonly referred to as Big T traumas, can have a lifetime of consequences for individuals who experience them.

Other types of trauma, called little t traumas, may not be life threatening but can have long lasting impacts on the brain of a child. Developmental trauma is considered to be any traumatic alteration of one’s developing brain, including such things as fetal alcohol syndrome and sensory processing disorder. Other things in this category include neglect, rejection, foster care, adoption, long term hospitalizations and death of a parent. According to Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, the time from conception to age 2 or 3, during which essential brain development occurs, a child’s brain is particularly susceptible to chemicals produced by stress. Complex Trauma arises from repeated exposure to traumatic events or stressors during developmentally vulnerable times in a child’s life.

Definitions can be limiting and the bottom line is that exposure to any of these situations can significantly impact a person’s daily life. Kim Barthel, occupational therapist, recently stated on the Safe and Sound Protocol Podcast, that trauma is an individualized response to a situation - what may be traumatic for one person may not be traumatic to another.

The key takeaway is that diagnoses and labels are not the focus, but what we need to pay attention to is a person’s responses.

Trauma and the Brain

In my previous blog on Seeing Behavior through a New Lens, I explained how our nervous system is set up to detect threats. In this way it protects a person from harm and sets them up for connection. We are social beings and operate best when we are primed and ready to connect. When a traumatic event or stressor enters into the situation the nervous system shifts its responses.

While a full explanation of the neuroscience related to development and trauma is beyond the scope of this blog, it is essential to have some understanding of the fundamental concepts of brain development in order to better understand how trauma and chronic stress can impact function. Hang in there - I will try and keep this information as simple as possible.

In a nutshell, the job of the brain is to take in information from outside and inside the body (from the senses and internal organs) and make sense of it. It does this by making associations between patterns of input that happen together repeatedly.

Key Concepts In Understanding How Trauma Affects the Brain

• Hierarchy of the brain - According to the neuro-sequential theory of development, the brain is organized in a hierarchical fashion and develops from birth through adolescence in this order: 1. Brain stem and mid brain (sensory and motor control) 2. Limbic System (attachment and emotions) 3. Cortex (thinking, planning, inhibiting, learning.

• Co-Regulation - Development takes place in the context of relationships. When a child is born they rely on a caregiver to help them regulate their bodies and their states of arousal. In a healthy environment, through that relationship, a child learns to increase control of their output (behavior) from the brainstem to the thinking part of the brain.

• State Dependent Function - Constant monitoring of the environment is how a person perceives threats. Keeping safe is the ultimate goal. Depending on the level of threat, the brain activates different parts of the brain. If threat is perceived as high, the brainstem takes over and responds in an immediate way, without conscious thought. We call this fight/flight or freeze. Dan Siegel refers to this as “flipping your lid.” (See here for a video description.) If the body is in a calm state, access to higher levels of brain activity become available.

• Window of Tolerance - We all have a window of tolerance for our nervous system in which we can operate without disrupting normal functioning. When the nervous system can not keep in check the mechanisms that keep this in balance, we flip our lid. Various experiences (i.e. trauma, fear) or physiological states (i.e. hunger, thirst) can impact the width of our tolerance window.

  A note about stressors - Not all stressors are bad. By definition, a stressor is simply anything that puts a demand on our body outside of normal capabilities. Stress is essential to healthy development and is an essential ingredient in building resilience. According to Dr, Bruce Perry, important factors that establish whether a stressor will produce increased resilience or vulnerability are whether it is predictable, moderate or controllable.

Putting It All Together

When a child experiences trauma or chronic stress, their brains are continually in a state of fear putting them in fight/ flight or freeze mode even when they are in a safe environment. Not only is this correlated with poor long-term health, it puts them in a state of alarm, which makes it near impossible to access the thinking part of their brain. The implications of this are huge.

Because connection and attachment happen above the brainstem level, it is very difficult for children who are stuck at this level to form secure attachments. Not only this, but because of the way the brain connects sensory input and facial recognition, a child may have distorted interpretations of non verbal cues resulting from associations made during unsafe, distorted interactions with others in past experiences.

Managing emotions and behavior is a challenge, as well. Common practices of thinking and reflection are ineffective. Because the child is stuck in fear mode, it is difficult to access the cortex of the brain for academic learning. While a child may be intelligent, they just can’t learn. They may appear angry, oppositional or shut down and withdrawn. Feelings of failure can create low self-esteem or lead to depression.

Knowing where a child is developmentally or how old they were when they began experiencing trauma is essential to healing. Because the brain develops from the bottom up, it may be necessary to approach a child from their developmental age as opposed to their chronological age.

Thankfully, there is hope. Because the brain is malleable and can change with experience in the context of loving and caring relationships, children who have experienced trauma can heal. Depending on the age of the child and their neurological strengths, change may take time. The essential thing to remember is that connection must come first.

Some children who have experienced trauma may experience challenges in their ability to process sensations. For a detailed look at all the sensory systems you can read my earlier blog. It is important to note, however, that some children who have not experienced Big T trauma, face sensory challenges on a daily basis. This may put their body in a state of high arousal or fear on a daily basis. Outward behaviors may appear similar in the classroom. No matter the cause or the diagnosis, a neurodevelopmental approach is needed to organize and integrate all levels of the brain.

An occupational therapist, trained to help children address sensory processing challenges can help children function more effectively on a daily basis by looking at a child’s sensory processing systems and seeing where the challenges are. Through clinical skill and reasoning, the OT can help a child experience sensations in a new way so that they can meaningfully interact at home, in the classroom and in the community.

If you need more help or feel like your child needs the help of a professional, please contact someone in your area for support. You can start with your pediatrician or ask around for the name of a counselor who is right for you. An occupational therapist who is knowledgeable about trauma can support your family by helping find solutions to your everyday challenges.

Stay tuned for more practical ways to help the children in your life who have been impacted by trauma.

Building Strong Mind and Bodies in Children Part 2: Providing Sensory Support

Understanding and Fostering Development of the Sensory Systems

It is through the senses that a person understands who they are.

It is through the senses that a person experiences the world around them.

It is through the senses that a person can engage in relationship.

It goes without saying, then, that optimizing the sensory system is crucial for functioning well in everyday life. When a baby is born some senses are highly developed, such as hearing, and others develop with time such as vision. Just as everyone has a unique fingerprint, everyone has a unique way they process incoming sensory information. While there is a standard that we might call “typical,” some people have a higher or lower tolerance for certain senses. Providing sensory support for one person my look different then for another, depending on the way their bodies process that information.

Important note about children with sensory sensitivities:

Children with sensory sensitivities are often misunderstood. In reality, they are doing what their nervous systems need in that moment to process incoming sensory information and feel safe in their surroundings. As an onlooker, one might see a child covering their ears and think they are being rude. But, that child may not be able to handle all the noises around them. Another child may be seen as a bully or “disrupter” because they are running into people or being rough on the playground. But that child may need more input to their joints and muscles for their brains to feel organized. As parents, teachers and caregivers, we must be willing to seek a deeper understanding of the underlying needs of children and help them find the sensory input they need in appropriate ways for their setting.

In this blog, I am going to briefly familiarize you with all 8 (yes, 8!) and discuss a few ways to foster them. As I stated in my previous blog on sleep, children do not grow in isolation. They grow and develop in the midst of caring relationships. My hope is that I can come along side you in your parenting or caregiving journey and we can work together to learn the best daily strategies for sensory support to help your family function with less stress and improved well-being for all

What are the Senses?

Just to clarify some terms, Sensory processing is the way our bodies take in information through the senses and then formulate a response in the form of movement or behavior. Let’s take a look at all the senses and get a better understanding of what typical processing is and what it might look like if a child has difficulty in this area.

I’ve provided the following shortcuts if you have a particular sense you are interested in:

Visual Sense

Olfactory Sense

Tactile Sense

Oral Motor Sense

Vestibular Sense

Proprioception

Interoception

Auditory Sense

I will start with the ones that might be new to you.

Vestibular Sense

The Vestibular Sense is located in the inner ear. This sense gives information to the brain about balance and movement. It keeps tabs on the position of the head and send signals to the brain that it is going up and down, forward or backwards or somewhere in between. Not only is this important for balance and movement but other senses rely heavily on this information to function properly.

A typical vestibular system allows a body to feel secure and confident in movement, is able to attend to learning and can engage in appropriate play and social engagement. A vestibular system that is over or under responsive can create challenges to everyday tasks and can be seen as clumsiness, behavior problems, anxiety, difficulty self-regulating or problems at school.

To foster a healthy vestibular system, children should be given ample opportunities to move in all planes. Any activity that encourages moving, bending, jumping, and rocking should be encouraged. Vestibular input can be either calming or alerting to the body.

I am always a fan of getting kids outdoors because kids can engage in fun activities such as playing tag, climbing trees, collecting nature items and not even realize how good it is for their bodies and minds! (Incidentally, looking at a screen does not provide any important movement input.)

Do you suspect your child may have vestibular processing challenges? You can contact an occupational therapist who is trained to evaluate your child in this area and provide therapy to help them function better.

Proprioceptive Sense

Information received from joints, tendons, and muscles that helps the brain coordinate movement is called proprioception. It allows the body to know where it is without even looking and helps to know how much or how little force to use for an action.

A well-functioning proprioceptive system allows a child to have coordinated movement, play effectively and use an appropriate amount of force in everyday activities. A child who has difficulty with proprioception may appear clumsy, play too rough, or may write too hard or too softly in school. As with vestibular input, proprioceptive input can be alerting or calming to the body.

Activities that can help promote a healthy proprioceptive system are activities that involve movement of the body - especially anything that includes pushing, pulling and resistance. Incidentally, blowing and chewing also provide proprioceptive input.

Wheelbarrow races anyone? This activity, as well as others such as digging, climbing, jumping in puddles, playing tag, and jumping on the trampoline are great options to give healthy sensory input. Not up for an outdoor day? Try indoor hopscotch, creating an obstacle course or letting your child see how many bubbles they can blow with a straw in a bowl of water and a drop of dish soap.

Interoception

Interoception is a newly recognized sense and is the body’s ability to recognize internal signals from many areas of the body. Recognizing these signals helps a person know how they feel and become aware of their body’s needs. It can be a key to emotional awareness and self-regulation. For example an increased heart beat or increased breathing rate can be a signal of an aroused nervous system. These receptors also provide the brain with information about the internal state, such as hunger, thirst and the need to go to the bathroom.

Building awareness of these feelings can be done by giving a child vocabulary for their internal sensations. For example, you can have them place their hand on their chest after exercise and have them feel their heartbeat. Then, have them do the same thing when they are doing a calm activity. Help them notice the difference. Also, practices such as yoga, breathing exercises and body scanning are highly effective at increasing interoceptive awareness.

Hearing or Auditory System

The sound or auditory system is located in the ear and detects sounds and vibrations and helps our brain make sense of them. It also works with the vestibular system to help with movement and balance. A healthy auditory system can interpret sounds and alert the brain to danger or create a sense of calm. Incredibly, the brain can learn to filter out unimportant sounds and distractions and focus on the information that is important.

A child that has difficulty with auditory processing may have trouble filtering out peripheral sounds, be easily distracted, have difficulty following directions, or have an averse reaction to sound (hypersensitive). For more information on auditory processing disorder, checkout information from the American Speech Language Hearing Association.

Play is a great way to foster auditory processing and a good way for a parent to notice if there might be some struggles. Some fun activities that promote auditory processing are going on a sound scavenger hunt in your yard or a local park, singing songs together that have motions that go along with them or having your child copy rhythms you make with your hands or sticks.

If you suspect your child has difficulty with processing auditory information, consult your pediatrician or seek out an occupational therapist who can evaluate your child and provide help to your child to improve in this area or make adaptations that will improve everyday life.

visual system

The eyes take in information from light waves and sends it to the brain to form a response. Not only is the visual system responsible for creating a clear picture of what one sees (visual acuity), but it must be able to recall information about what it sees (visual memory), be able to distinguish something from its background (figure ground), and follow a moving object (visual tracking). For more information on visual processing, you can checkout my blog , Fostering Visual Perception Through Outdoor Play.

A healthy visual system helps a child interact with the environment around them and helps them to learn, engage and develop. There are many functions of the visual system and if some of them are not working properly, it can cause many difficulties, especially in the classroom.

Some activities that can help children practice and grow in their visual processing skills are I Spy, Find It games (Checkout these incredible printables form Andnextcomesl.com), jigsaw puzzles, Spot It, Spot it, Jr., making a game of collecting certain color items outside.

Olfactory Sense (Smell)

The nose detects smells in the environment by detecting minute chemicals in the air and then sends that information to the brain. Not only can the brain distinguish between thousands of smells, it can interpret if something is dangerous, pleasant, strong or mild. The pathway of smell is closely linked with the part of the brain responsible for memories and emotions. That is why certain smells can invoke such strong memory responses.

A child with a healthy olfactory system can distinguish between good and bad odors, yet is able to tolerate some amount of discomfort without a strong reaction. A child with that my have some olfactory processing differences may be either over sensitive to certain smells or may not notice some smells at all. This can impact mealtimes as well as other daily activities.

Some fun ways to engage the olfactory system are scratch and sniff books and scented markers. Two of my favorite activities that incorporate the olfactory sense and so much more are gardening and cooking. Try growing an herb garden with your child. Practice identifying the plants by their smell and then incorporate them into some favorite foods. In summer, grow a flower garden, choosing flowers that have pleasant smells such as lavender and roses.

Tactile Sense (Touch)

Receptors in our skin provide information about things that we touch and the environment surrounding the body. This information is then interpreted by our nervous system, giving information about texture, temperature, and pressure. It is closely connected with the emotional centers of the brain and gives cues to sensations of pain and pleasure. It allows us to recognize objects without even looking at them.

Tactile receptors are all over the body an constantly giving input. A healthy tactile system learns to filter out information that isn’t important in the moment and engage in meaningful play and activities.

Children who have difficulty with tactile processing may be over sensitive to textures. A common struggle is finding tags on clothing intolerable. Some children may also have a hard time getting their hands messy or playing in paint. Some children can be extremely sensitive to temperatures changes. Some children my be under responsive to sensations and not feel pain when injured.

Exposing children to different textures and experiences at an early age is a good way to help organize the tactile system. Letting children walk in the grass or dig in the dirt is an easy way to start this type of exposure. Another fun way to create a fun tactile experience for kids is to create sensory bins with beans, rice or sand. Hide objects of different shape or sizes in the bin and see if child can find it without looking. Using shaving cream is another fun sensory experience. Spread some shaving cream on a cook sheet and have child draw shapes or letters.

Oral Motor System

The final sensory system we will address is the oral motor system. Much more than taste, this system address all information provided in the mouth and jaw area. Receptors in the mouth provide information to the brain about taste, texture, and temperature. Information from the joints in the jaw provide information about resistance to chew. Think about how you perceive pudding versus how you perceive a piece of meat or a caramel.

A child with a healthy oral motor system can tolerate a variety of textures and tastes and is willing to try and experiment with new foods. They also do not seek out putting chewing on non-food items to calm themselves.

On the other hand, a child who struggles with oral sensory input may be sensitive to textures in their food. They may be described as “very picky” eaters. They may chew on pencils, clothing or fingernails. Some children my be under sensitive and may need more input to help them pay attention.

Providing children with a variety of foods and textures from a young age is a good way to promote a healthy oral motor system. Involve children in the cooking process so they are more willing to try new foods. Making food an extra fun experience by cooking over a fire.

Creating a strong foundation for the senses goes a long way towards building strong minds and bodies. Healthy sensory systems lay a foundation for developing a sense of self and developing emotional regulation and help a child function in their everyday lives.

If you suspect that your child may be struggling in one or more of these areas, I recommend reaching out to an occupational therapist. They can work with you and your child to help find ways to best support your family so you can have less stress and more success.

Building Strong Mind and Bodies in Children

Part 1: Creating a strong foundation through Healthy sleep Routines

You wouldn’t want to build a house on a faulty foundation, would you? Or use frayed wires in your electrical system? In the same way, we don’t want children to miss out on life opportunities because they don’t have strong building blocks for their bodies and minds.

“If our end goal is building families and children that thrive, the first and most basic line of defense is building bodies and minds that can work at their full capacity.”

If our end goal is building families and children that thrive, the first and most basic line of defense is building bodies and minds that can work at their full capacity. To do that we need to provide the basic materials for development. Some of the things necessary may be obvious, such as healthy food, water, safe shelter, but other things might not be as evident such as adequate sleep, sensory experiences, and play opportunities.

I fully understand that some people enter the world with minds and bodies that work differently or look differently than others. Others people encounter sensory challenges or trauma that impacts their engagement in the world around them. This is not about “fixing” people, rather it is a part of a larger picture to help people operate at their best. While some children my be considered “typical” and others may be” neuro-diverse” (thinking and learning differently), all children benefit from having a strong physical and developmental foundation.

Children do not grow in isolation. They grow and develop in the midst of caring relationships. My hope is that I can come along side you in your parenting or caregiving journey and we can work together to learn the best daily strategies for you to help your family function with less stress and improved well-being for all.

Building strong bodies and minds is the first layer in a complex interrelated dance between a person and their environment. As parents or caregivers, you play a tremendous role in that relationship.

Today we are going to focus on how to optimize factors that reside within a child by supporting healthy sleep routines. In coming weeks we will address some more factors including how to provide optimal sensory support, how to provide optimal play opportunities, and how to nurture felt safety.

Is your child getting adequate sleep?

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the following times of sleep for each age group: 10 - 13 hours for children ages 3-5 (including naps), 9 - 12 hours for children ages 6 - 12 and 8 - 10 hours for children ages 13 - 18.

While the amount of sleep a child needs varies from person to person, the ranges displayed in the graphic reflect the average needs for that age group. Getting a bad night’s sleep is not just about being cranky the next day. According to John Medina in Brain Rules, disrupted sleep or loss of sleep can decrease attention, executive function, working memory, quantitative skills and even fine and gross motor skills. In addition, insufficient sleep is linked to higher injuries, obesity and depression. You can see how a lack of sleep can have an impact on your child’s function at home and at school.

Some general tips for getting your child the sleep they need are:

• Routine. Routine. Routine. - You are going to hear this word a lot in my work with children. Setting routines and habits that are predictable and sustainable are essential for low stress levels in the home. Not only keeping a consistent time of going to bed but having a routine that is the same most nights helps children know what to expect. An occasional change in plans is okay but as much as possible keep things consistent. For example, brush teeth, read a book, tuck in, lights out.

• Give verbal warnings of when bedtime is coming. For example, “First we will eat dinner, then we will have a bath, and then it will be bedtime.” Ask them what comes next along the way so they are part of the process.

• Play calming music or nature sounds during bedtime preparations. This calms the body and signals it is time to slow down. A noise machine can block out distracting noises in the home.

• Limit liquids an hour or two before bedtime to prevent trips to the bathroom during the night.

• Provide visual cues for wake-up time. For children who get up too early, a clock that provides a visual cue when it is acceptable to wake up can be helpful. This clock is a good choice for toddlers, while this one is good option for older children as it can help with learning to tell time.

• Support a child’s sensory needs by making sure they aren’t annoyed by tags or textures on their pajamas or sheets. Is the temperature conducive to sleep? Is it too hot or too cold? Do the window coverings block out enough light? Are there distracting odors? Or can you use smells to their benefit? Some people find lavender balm to be calming and beneficial to sleep.

• Avoid screen use close to bed time. Studies show that the blue light emitted from devices like cell phones, tablets and computers can disrupt sleep cycles by delaying the production of melatonin, a natural chemical that induces sleepiness. This leads to a decrease in the amount and quality of sleep, causing tiredness the following day.

Not only are these tips good for your children but they ring true for adults as well. A well-rested household is one step closer to a peaceful household. Well rested brains think more clearly and have a bigger window of tolerance when the unexpected happens. Adequate sleep and good bedtime habits are one piece of the puzzle that will help your family thrive.

Sweet Dreams!

Disclosure: (Sounds official, doesn't it?) Here's the deal...I want to be completely honest with you and I want you to be able to trust me. I only recommend things that I have tried or believe are worthwhile. That being said, I DO use affiliate links that allow me to earn a commission from things you buy with the links I share. It doesn't cost you more, but I DO want you to know that. It helps me keep my business going. Enough said.)